Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines (HHN 33)

[ReelJustice]

The "battle" scene with Bride stabbing a (clearly already dead) vamp and Saskia dragging away a live one was cool when every spot was staffed, which it often wasn't. Completely unclear why Bride is helping Saskia in this version of the story, as the wolf killed her mate, not Dracula's daughter.

You made this up

 

[Jake S]

Looking forward to the leather bound version of that post. Well worth the wait @Clive.

 

[Clive]

You made this up

I think it saw play out completely as intended once or twice. In most cases, either the Bride or Saskia were missing. Sometimes both!

 

[ReelJustice]

Looking forward to the leather bound version of that post. Well worth the wait @Clive.

It’s the HHN 33 version of Jenny’s 4 hour Starcruiser video

 

[queenmetroid]

I agree with Clive's very thorough and very good assessment wholeheartedly. As an additional data point, I typically attend HHNH first and this year I did not.

While I understood that we returned to the Van Helsing crypt in the HHNO version, I didn't understand why, and there's absolutely nothing to indicate why it happened other than vague, "Well, it's symbolic because she dies and it ends where it begins." This is not necessarily a bad choice in and of itself because it can be done in a way that works, but any house absolutely has to justify this decision. The audience is expecting a climax or big finish at the end of any house, and this simply didn't land because it's the exact same set, just with a body. If the crypt had been somehow been desecrated by the monsters, then sure, that works for me, but the way it played out? Nope. Plus that whole giant two story set in the middle? It was beautiful but completely empty every time I went through. There were just so many bizarre decisions in terms of space usage where the grander scope worked against the narrative, when they used claustrophobic sets to such great effect last year.

The irony is that when I attended HHNH later in the season, where their version of the house had very clearly experienced budget cuts, it was a much better storytelling experience. The stereotypical transitional black wallz of Hollywood had these beautifully illustrated woodcut drawings and a brief one line VO explaining what happened, and you would typically hear it at least twice as you moved through the transitions, which solves the issue of having to go through the house multiple times to hear what's going on. This includes an explanation of why you are in the crypt again, or that the Bride brings the body back to be with the rest of the family. Now, there's no question that you were being bludgeoned over the head with the story, but there's nothing wrong with a house or two doing that every year. Frankly, a bad scenic transition is arguably just as jarring, and, asking the audience to read a sentence during a transition or look at an explanatory picture especially if it's integrated well, shouldn't be an issue (that is a controversial take, no doubt).

I don't need to be spoonfed and I'm in no way against houses with deep storytelling and lore that reward repeat viewings, vague or mysterious plot points, or incongruous weirdness, but Orlando really missed the mark on this one in a way they usually don't, and it was pretty disappointing.

 

[TheCodeMan95]

This is gonna be the last UCM house we get for awhile. Shame lol

 

[saint.piss]

Lmao... I'm sad this house is getting so much hate. I did it 22 times (did Hollywoods version 5 times) and personally it was probably my favorite house this year. I know not everyone was able to do it as much as I did but most if not all of the runs I had were fully staffed. Also when Hollywood's version was fully staffed it was pretty good. Unfortunately with that version of the house every time I did it (except my last two runs) it was barely ever staffed. Anyway, I also really enjoyed the lore/story of both versions and I love Saskia. She's basically the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" of the HHN UM universe. My favorite scene in Orlando's version was the She-Wolf scare where she would come flying at you. Gave me chills every time.

 

[queenmetroid]

Story Pitch:

"Hey, so for HHN 2024, we're going to have a house with a badass woman named Saskia as the centerpiece!"

"That sounds awesome! Who is she?"

"She's got this amazing heritage with Van Helsing blood because she's the last surviving relative of Abraham Van Helsing!"

"That legacy tie in is music to my ears! What does she do?"

"She fights a bunch of monsters in exotic locations and she fails at every turn, allowing some to escape and murder both innocents and allies. We're going to emphasize how badly she's doing in her VO, too."

"Oh, wow, that's pretty tragic, but a really dramatic setup. Does she learn, grow, and triumph despite all the failures?"

"No, she brutally decapitated offscreen at the end in a blink and you'll miss it moment. Staffing might be an issue in that scene so not everyone is going to see it, but we'll imply it through VO."

"Hmmm, well, does she make a heroic sacrifice that contributes to the greater good or anything like that?"

"Nope, she pretty much just dies, like some sort of anti-Final Girl, a complete disgrace to her bloodline."

"And that's the end?"

"Basically, but this completely unrelated legacy character steals her gear in another brief Marvel-esque end credits final scare."

"Great work. Ship it!"

To be clear, I didn't hate the house. I know I'm exaggerating slightly (and despite my criticism, I really loved the scenic in this maze and it still held up during the UTH tour), but I just wanted it to be more narratively satisfying. I also feel bad criticizing something that is so clearly a great work of art and a labor of love. Maybe if they had given Saskia a couple houses before killing her off, I would have felt emotionally invested. I'm not even opposed to houses that portray tragedy or pointless death where evil wins (I really like those!), but you really have to be careful with pre-existing characters when you subvert expectations. At the beginning, you expect Saskia to succeed in some capacity because she's a Van Helsing. Also, I really felt like Van Helsing bloodline deserved a better send off, especially when it was a chance to elevate a woman as a hero, which is not something most houses do. I'm sure someone felt like the Bride taking on the mantle was a really good choice and sacrificing a legendary family would elevate that storyline, but the way they went about it was sort of meh. Like having a bleeding and dying Saskia handing over her crossbow would have probably worked better. Instead, it's Indiana Jones, where the main character of the house doesn't change the plotline in the slightest.

I think after my tenth run or so, I ended up behind a couple people who said, "That was a beautiful house, but I had no idea what was going on."