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Disney's Jungle Cruise

It’s really refreshing to see an original, non-remake/sequel coming from Disney. And yes I’m considering this original since the ride has next-to-no real story.
 
Aaaand here’s the trailer. Sorry for the double post!






Edit: Here’s the official poster as well.
1583878413345.jpeg
 
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So this is coming out this Friday and Disney is still not letting reviews come out for the movie. I had a slice of hope that maybe it’d be a fun time, but holding back reviews is giving me little hope.
 
She's not everyone's cup of tea, but Grace Randolph is an unabashed theme park fan, and she said fans of the ride will eat this up.
From everything i've heard, they worked the dad jokes in and the overall spirit of the ride - which is really the spirit of The African Queen when you think of it - remains.
 
Saw it with an opening night Disney Springs crowd, about the best possible way for a movie like this. In fact, I'm curious how the pre-opening credit cruise--basically
Dwayne Johnson doing the ride's best jokes
--plays in a less theme park friendly city.

The first half is a fun mash-up of the The Mummy and Pirates of the Caribbean, with Johnson and Blunt's charisma and chemistry and a massive real life set carrying the mostly hackneyed plot. But at some point the movie starts to drag and never really recovers. It goes on way too long, and the plot gets too convoluted
with characters directly ripped off from the Pirates sequels, only with less realistic CGI. Skipper Frank has a pet that is also only one step up from Xena: Warrior Princess level effects.And the finale is set in a dark cave I'm sure was mostly rendered on a computer.

I saw similar third act complaints about Black Widow--a movie I didn't think was nearly as good as this one in its opening acts--so basically chalk it up to "The Disney Formula." Disappointing because for 30 or so minutes I was really digging this one.
 
The movie looks like it will be opening roughly to Space Jam 2 numbers, and if recent history tells us anything, we should probably be expecting a 65-70% drop next weekend on the film.
 
The movie looks like it will be opening roughly to Space Jam 2 numbers, and if recent history tells us anything, we should probably be expecting a 65-70% drop next weekend on the film.

I wouldn't be so sure; Cruella dropped 49% coming off a holiday weekend with premier access. Maybe it doesn't drop that low, but somewhere in the mid-50s would be reasonable against Suicide Squad.
 
Saw it with an opening night Disney Springs crowd, about the best possible way for a movie like this. In fact, I'm curious how the pre-opening credit cruise--basically
Dwayne Johnson doing the ride's best jokes
--plays in a less theme park friendly city.

The first half is a fun mash-up of the The Mummy and Pirates of the Caribbean, with Johnson and Blunt's charisma and chemistry and a massive real life set carrying the mostly hackneyed plot. But at some point the movie starts to drag and never really recovers. It goes on way too long, and the plot gets too convoluted
with characters directly ripped off from the Pirates sequels, only with less realistic CGI. Skipper Frank has a pet that is also only one step up from Xena: Warrior Princess level effects.And the finale is set in a dark cave I'm sure was mostly rendered on a computer.

I saw similar third act complaints about Black Widow--a movie I didn't think was nearly as good as this one in its opening acts--so basically chalk it up to "The Disney Formula." Disappointing because for 30 or so minutes I was really digging this one.

While I think I enjoyed it more than you did, I have to agree with your review. The first half is a spirited adventure flick, but the second half becomes so tangled in knots that it ceases to be very fun. It's baffling how the effects look so much worse than Pirates despite this film being made over a decade later.
 
A mild script doctor:
  1. Cut the romance; it felt comedically forced and out of place. They can still go back to the UK together as friends at the end.
  2. Cut the Germans. The film had one too many villains and the Germans could be cut without anyone noticing. They had effectively no role in advancing the plot.
  3. Honestly? I’d rather replace all of the villains, but given the batch that we had, I would have rather had the focus either be on the Zombie Conquistadors or (preferably) on a competing SEA expedition.
  4. The Rock twist was also unnecessary (as was the weird shift in tone from the associated flashback). I get how it adds to the lore, but I also feel as though it limits the character of Disney wanted this to ever become a franchise (which I’m starting to lean towards no on).
  5. The LGBT character (while the best Disney has done by far thanks to a really low bar) really could have used at least one more scene to reaffirm that (not just the token coming out scene that could be easily cut for China). Also, the fact that he was barely promoted with the film, when he was solidly the number 3 character of the film (yes there was a gap between him and the top 2, but also a gap between him and number 4) felt… odd.
 
A mild script doctor:
  1. Cut the romance; it felt comedically forced and out of place. They can still go back to the UK together as friends at the end.
  2. Cut the Germans. The film had one too many villains and the Germans could be cut without anyone noticing. They had effectively no role in advancing the plot.
  3. Honestly? I’d rather replace all of the villains, but given the batch that we had, I would have rather had the focus either be on the Zombie Conquistadors or (preferably) on a competing SEA expedition.
  4. The Rock twist was also unnecessary (as was the weird shift in tone from the associated flashback). I get how it adds to the lore, but I also feel as though it limits the character of Disney wanted this to ever become a franchise (which I’m starting to lean towards no on).
  5. The LGBT character (while the best Disney has done by far thanks to a really low bar) really could have used at least one more scene to reaffirm that (not just the token coming out scene that could be easily cut for China). Also, the fact that he was barely promoted with the film, when he was solidly the number 3 character of the film (yes there was a gap between him and the top 2, but also a gap between him and number 4) felt… odd.

Good thoughts. Re: #3,
Early on I kind of sensed that would be Paul Giamatti's role. Instead he just disappears from the movie.
 
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