Probably will do one final loop of my favorites tomorrow, but after a collective two weeks of visits, my final thoughts:
The overall good? It hasn’t been an issue in a while, but I still like to point out all the houses but Scarey were a satisfying length. All were extremely well detailed; that is what sets HHN apart from everyone else, and even the worst houses made for interesting backstage tours. Most featured a decent mix of characters, which had become my biggest HHN pet peeve. In-house ops were by and large very good this year, rarely too intrusive. (House entrance ops could get obnoxious but they are easier to ignore.) Rotunda Security and the ticket scanners all went 88 mph and managed to get the overwhelming crowds into the park quickly and smoothly.
The bad?
- Been discussed to death but vinyl (and to a lesser extent masks) hurt every house to some extent—a few they straight up ruined.
- Staffing was an even bigger problem. Many houses had empty boo holes most nights. F&B lines were also insanely long, and old favorite Twisted Taters suffered from being clearly rushed. Even in-park security felt lax—bad behavior seemed to ramp up this year. Also, I hear through the grapevine a lot of backstage TMs never returned after the layoffs, and a lot of institutional knowledge was lost.
- Express was clearly oversold—the switchbacks were insane. Toward the end of the event, crowds were insane. When a 3-hour Boo Bash can command $170 and a Mickey’s Xmas party gets $250, a price hike seems overdue.
- HHN scare-zones are broken. Bad locations, bad set-ups. I’m tempted to say the concept is over in the cell phone era, but then Sea World goes and hits them out of the park. They can still work, but HHN needs a complete re-think on how to do them.
FINAL RANKING OF HOUSES & SHOWS
10) (
S)Carey—three of my favorite comedy houses represented, but nothing here was funny. Three of the most atmospheric houses of all time here, but the mix & match layout of rooms kills any suspense/foreboding. Nothing but random ‘memberberries here, but not even the best scenes from the houses featured. And, yeah, the original Scudders were cheesy sci fi—but redesigning them into something new and unrecognizable destroys what little sense of nostalgia those costumes might have had. Gives Chance’s house a serious run for worst of the decade.
9)
Icons—other than the Caretaker room, an objectively bad house. Too many scares from behind, and too many characters have nothing to do (Fear and Chance the worst example of this). Way too many mannequin victims and empty hallways. Just recreations of old commercials, no attempt to tell a story. The characters never interact, let alone “fight,” yet I’m supposed to care one sits on the throne at the end? How? Why? And without that explanation, seeing a 70s director or a knitting grandma sitting on The Iron Throne just feels silly. I get this house appeals to a certain “gatekeeper” mentality among some fans but I’d much rather see an original house that this year’s first-timers would look back on in 2038 and say. “yeah, that was epic.” Bottom 10 of the decade for me.
9a)
Marathon of Mayhem II: Jack’s Boogaloo--This show lives and dies on the music. Needed more iconic, driving tunes to work, like the Beetlejuice score or Charlie Watts’ drumming on the original “Paint It Black” (rather than the Ambien-like cover version they used). 90% of the icons footage felt recycled from commercials. FWIW I felt the TCM segment was the highlight. But should only do when the IPs justify, or use better music and make it a more generic Universal Monsters show.
8)
Beetlejuice—wanted to like it. But understaffed, way too many empty hallways, and largely miscast. Barker sounded nothing like BJ, Lydia was as tall as I am. (The dead-on accurate Ortho being the exception here.) Sets were faithful recreations of the movie, and effects were good--when they worked, which was far from always. But choices like the dinner party room being completely unstaffed are head-scratchers, and ultimately there weren’t enough scares for a haunted house. Vinyl hurt this more than any other house, that may have subconsciously pushed it down from mediocre to bad.
7)
TCM—still not a fan of the IP, but probably the best of the 3 houses HHN has done. Cool opening gas station set, some novel scares (the chainsaws on the windows, the pigs). If I was a movie fan, probably could’ve contended for my #4 or #5 spot.
6)
Tooth Fairy—same as my review last year, clever concept but an awesome façade followed by an average house with repetitive monsters. Vinyl did this one no favors, either.
5)
Case Files Unearthed—let me be clear, the Kit-Kat Club scene was dynamite, tied with the witch in Wicked Growth as my favorite room this year. I quite liked Boris’ office and the museum scene as well. But the house never gelled for me. The bookend NJ scenes felt unnecessary, added nothing. “Slaughter Sinema but make it 40s pulp novels” would have been enough. Also the creatures were too disparate—and I’ll be blunt, derivative of past houses—to feel like a Satanic army. Demonic cat-girls feel like the Devil’s legions. Moss Man and yetis and a doll in a scene lifted straight from Dollhouse of the Damned? Feel more like leftovers from costuming. Animation in the police station didn’t really work, either. I respect A&D trying something new and novel, I just wanted it to be more cohesive.
4)
Haunting of Hill House—very atmospheric, would be creepy even without actors. Which probably helps hide the fact triggers felt a little slow to reset in this one. Successfully conveyed the gist of the story even tho I didn’t make it thru episode 2. An effective enough crowd-pleaser no one will remember in 5 years.
3)
Puppet Theater—started a little slow, as this location tends to for whatever reason, but once the actors found their footing it was great. You can just sense the attention to historical detail in the sets. Tons of effective scares—drop screens may be cliché but they worked every time. Clever touches, like a skeleton doing the “Alas poor Yorrick” speech with a human head or the gnome puppet or the baby puppet. This truly felt like a house that only HHN could do.
2)
Bride of Frankenstein Lives—everything I said last year stands. Successfully tells a 3-act story with an emotional payoff while delivering scares and Easter eggs galore. Oh, and probably the best casts this year. An all-time great, only wish I’d gotten a chance to see it without vinyl/masks.
2a)
Nightmare Fuel—the best HHN show ever not named “Bill & Ted’s”--and it beat out several of those. They cracked the code, mixing fast-paced illusions and aerial/fire acts with a dance troupe makes a much richer show. Music was perfect. Enough nods to Halloween to feel organic to the event.
1)
Wicked Growth—Jack-o-lanterns made for an amazing opening. Sets were varied but all top-notch. Two solid casts. Innovative scares—e.g. the “rubber” fences—and nicely repurposed effects—e.g. the drop screen, the covered bridge. Twists and turns and fast resets so that most everyone gets some scares. A simple story, but a storyline nonetheless, that builds to a satisfying climax. Even the smells are perfect. A large mix of creatures, all vaguely tied into the idea of Halloween traditions. Also did the best job of making the vinyl unnoticeable. Another all-time great, should be used as a primer on how to make a Halloween-themed haunted house.
FINAL RANKING OF ZONES
5)
Seek & Destroy—not entirely clear what was going on. Friends couldn’t tell if aliens or robots or stormtroopers. Why would aliens have chainsaws? And the fan interaction with the Master Controller grew annoying. Another NYC misfire. Should’ve shelled out the $$ to do Hunger Games, which this subconciously (?) borrowed from heavily.
4)
Gorewood—no bikers, no Body Collectors, Eelmouth just a mannequin, no sacrifice show. Knuckle-grunts were good when the zone wasn’t jammed, but a disappointment based on what should have been.
3)
Crypt TV—impressive costumes/make-up, but needed more off-stage actors to do proper scares. Biggest issue: SF too crowded for a zone. Move this to F&F courtyard and just make it a photo op area.
2)
30 Years, 30 Fears—nice mix of characters at least, felt suitably “Halloweeny.” Cool photo ops, which has become this zone’s raison d'être, but also a handful of scares. About as good as we can probably hope for here.
1)
Lights, Camera, Hacktion—perfect mix of well-known and obscure nostalgia characters who actually went out of their way to scare. An overarching theme that justifies the randomneess. Stage performers there to distract, but enough on the ground to follow up. Strongest cast. The cast change-ups were a thing of beauty. Easily zone of the year.
It gives me hope the general public reacted so well to an original house and an original show—maybe this will inspire the event to drop the crutch of nostalgia. In the end, HHN 30 will go down for me as one of many average years with three or so great houses and a killer show. Which is enough after the past year and a half we’ve all had.
