I don't think anyone expects tremendous faithfulness to the 1930s original and I REALLY don't think there's much concern for any kind of franchise-wide canon. I expect some knowing winks and a tone much closer to grim grinning ghosts then anything Tod Browning directed (although, to be fair, the tone I just described isn't that far from something James Whale would have directed!) Heck, when I rue the lost show, what I'm picturing is a more polished, more spectacular version of the Beetlejuice show at the Studios. Its a balancing act to be sure, but I trust Universal. That said...
A tonal clash isn't why I'm leery of a small naked coaster. I'm leery of a small naked coaster because they're generally not that interesting or unique and because I think Universal needs to move away from them (not entirely, of course) and towards more all-ages dark rides.
Tone, even a more subdued one, as an emphasis in theme park attractions absolutely can work. The first third of the greatest theme park ride ever built, Disneyland's Pirates, is all about establishing a mournful, foreboding tone - a "slow-burn" leading into the chaos of the second third. In fact, many of Disney's best rides focus much more on modulating tone then they do on narrative. Even at this year's HHN, the best house, hands down, was one that emphasized tone above all else. So while I don't expect it, some portion of the ride spent building a more traditional tone before exploding into action would not be unprecedented or undesirable.
Finally, SOMETHING about the classic movies really sells to modern audiences, because Universal is increasingly making them central to its identity, sells piles of merchandise based off the original 30s and 40s versions, and is dedicating a fourth of the new park to them. This isn't Francis the Talking Mule or Ma and Pa Kettle - this is the very rare Universal property that has continued to appeal to audiences for close to a century. Some combination of elements within the IPs keeps them relevant to a significant population. Maintaining those elements while expanding the appeal to a general audience is Uni's challenge.
This is a GREAT post, but I wonder if you give too much credit to the general theme park-going public, specifically the majority of UO’s audience, in your argument here.
I would agree Pirates does an incredible job of demonstrating tone and exists on a higher plane compared to most attractions in its pacing, structure, etc. It’s proof that a slow narrative CAN translate to a theme park ride.
The problem is, I don’t think anyone really wants that anymore. When Pirates originally opened, the term “amusement park” was synonymous with carnival junk. Disneyland was obviously not carnival junk…it was an elevated form of art that created its own product category. People went for the art of the show.
Fast forward to today and “amusement parks” or “theme parks” could refer to any number of safe, family-friendly, and in some cases well themed collection of thrill rides. It’s not just Disney and the local fair—it’s Disney, Universal, Cedar Point, Six Flags, Dollywood, Knott’s, etc. They all have varying degrees of cleanliness, atmosphere, attention to detail, etc., but what unites them under these singular umbrella terms are one main thing, and it’s not “art”…it’s thrill rides.
That’s why I don’t think Universal will ever build a GMR-style classic movie ride. It’s just not what people are looking for. Sure, those same people still go on Pirates. Haunted Mansion, etc. but it’s not what’s driving them to the parks and I’d argue a lot of the fandom is built from nostalgia. By the time the UOR was built, theme parks were synonymous with “any place you can ride thrilling rides,” 40-some years after Disneyland first opened.
Universal doesn’t have the same hyper-critical audience Disney does—NBC isn’t putting out multi-part documentary series on the craft of theming or writing blog posts about the details on a rock sculpture they spent $1 million creating. What UO offers its guests is the ability to ride viscerally thrilling attractions with environments/characters they’re familiar with from popular IP. As someone who’s only vaguely familiar with the monsters IP (like the majority of people who will be targeted to buy tickets to EU), I would hear “classic monsters ride” and assume it’ll be something fun, wild, and scary. Im sure a moody, brooding, static atmosphere would be intriguing, but ultimately not the point of my visit.
All that to say, I agree with what you’re saying, I just think that conceptually it’s 30 years or so late.