Men in Black is the best attraction at UO
Yep. After a lot of thought and evaluation, I've come to the conclusion that Men in Black has simply the best execution of any Universal attraction. I'm not saying that Men in Black is my favorite attraction (though it is among my favorites), or that it must be everyone else's favorite attraction - I'm making the argument that in terms of story, theming, spectacle, depth, scale, and repeatability, Men in Black reigns as the best executed attraction at the Universal Orlando resort.
My arguments:
It fits into its theme area.
An increasing problem in theme park evolution (both Universal and Disney) is a less-than-strict adherence to the established themes of the original park. Men in Black manages to buck this trend by completely fitting into the theme of the World Expo, with the MIB operations staged as a World Fair attraction ("The Universe and You").
Its facade is impressive.
The World Expo towers now serve as an iconic part of the Studios skyline; moreover, MIB's massive soundstage is completely masked by fascinatingly retro-cool architecture. With the exception of backstage events (ie HHN), it's impossible to see the MIB soundstage at any time as a park guest, which is very impressive and gives MIB a leg up against Mummy, Forbidden Journey, and Spider-Man.
The preshow establishes the context and story.
Men in Black has a mandatory preshow that immediately sets the context and plot, which immerses the guest into the story if they haven't done so already. This is contrary to Spider-Man, Mummy, and Forbidden Journey's passive approach. The muddled and convoluted nature of those attractions' stories display the lack of effectiveness in this approach. The transition is neatly made from the cutesy World Expo "Universe and You" attraction (which is established in both the preshow announcements and decorations itself to the fun posters out in the exterior queue) to the Men in Black HQ. The elevator ride successfully transports you to your new role as a MIB trainee with little to no confusion.
The queue in general is awesome.
The aforementioned exterior queue suits itself well as overflow before the preshow, with in-theme posters that gently rib Disney while strengthening the Universe and You. Once past the preshow, the queue hits new levels as a high-tech, cool MIB facility complete with interactive elements, sight gags, audio-animatronic aliens, an enormous lobby, and an amusing (while informative) preshow video. All of these areas reference and accurately reflect the Men in Black facilities seen in the films. The loading area too is impressive, with its simple but spacious look - it all feels very film accurate.
Team member positions don't feel forced into the theme.
Theme park rides by their nature require human employees to operate safely, and this has often resulted in an awkward juxtaposition between the story that is supposed to be told and the human being that is required by law to check your restraints. The Simpsons is a prime example of this, as is Dragon Challenge (moreso when it was Dueling Dragons), Spider-Man, and Hulk. The human accomplices simply don't fit into the established story, so some suspension of disbelief is needed. Here, not so - the employees loading your ride vehicle or checking your express pass is a MIB agent assisting in your training. No suspension of disbelief necessary.
The average guest is all but guaranteed to know everything (s)he needs to before boarding the vehicle.
In Forbidden Journey, true understanding of the plot relies on the guest picking up on chatter by various characters in previous passive rooms. Spider-Man requires some distinctly comic book style logic (it's hard to wrap your mind around the idea of an antigravity cannon or the stealing of the Statue of Liberty)... in Men in Black, all the information you need to know is force fed and reinforced (either through the mandatory preshow or various monitors leading up to the ride). Even if you take the Express queue, which bypasses the preshow, it becomes immediately obvious that you are training to become a MIB trainee by the Doofus queue video. This leads to a greater guest experience because they actually have some idea of what's going on and what their purpose in the ride's plot is.
The vehicles are stylish and memorable.
Spider-Man does have the slightly superior SCOOP, and the Forbidden Journey benches are nothing to scoff at - but MIB's vehicles are both unique and cool to look at, mainly due to the exhaust port, which glitters futuristically (when proper maintenance is undergone, of course...) While the 3 to a row can be a little awkward in parties of 4, the tiered seating structure works like a charm to provide a fair view for every rider.
The gunplay is superior to similar rides.
Of course, I'm referring to Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin and even the newer Toy Story Mania. The MIB guns are far more comfortable and provide for a complete degree of control, unlike the Buzz guns which are bolted to the vehicle, or the Midway guns that are not only bolted but also lack rapid fire.
Animatronics and physical sets!
Along with ET, Cat in the Hat, and [debatably] Jurassic Park River Adventure, MIB is the last attraction at Universal that can be considered a spectacle of audio-animatronics. MIB's robotic alien creatures vary in scale, style, and complexity - and have an incredible headcount of over one hundred individual creatures. In addition, all of the sets are PHYSICAL - the massive, overrun cityscapes feel real and impressive, and the forced perspective used in the final Time Square set effectively set the stage for the overwhelming scale of the "Big Bug." There are only a handful of screen-based moments during the ride, both of which take place at the end and change based on your performance [more on that in a moment]. While a Will Smith animatronic moment might've been cool, the screens work, and are augmented by an additional animatronic scene to complete the ending, so I'll give it a pass. Spider-Man does have its impressive and fluid 3D visuals, but there's something very different about actually having the creatures in a physical space in front of you.
No expense spared.
Let's face it - some money was cut on previous Universal projects in recent memory, which led to disappointments. Potter's ending fizzled and included a stationary Aragog. The Simpsons animation felt a little lacking. The promised "space-age robotics" and "leaping mummies" and... well... "ending" of Revenge of the Mummy failed to every really materialize. Spider-Man is the rare exception where everything seemed to work out. Men in Black is another such exception - in no part in the ride does one feel like they ran out of money or cut corners. True, some alien models were duplicated, but this effect is never jarring and there's enough variety in the rest of the cast to make up for it. You can tell that Universal Creative to fully realize their creative vision - and it shows in the final product.
The plot makes sense.
This is a big one. Forbidden Journey's plot never truly makes complete sense (though the ride is still ridiculously entertaining), and Spider-Man gets a little too chaotic for its own good sometimes... let's not get started on Mummy and its coffee-based finale. MIB hits a series of story beats that are drilled into the head of riders and make complete sense in the world you're supposed to be apart of. You're on a routine training mission, a red alert sounds off when a troupe of alien bad guys crash land in the streets, you abandon the training to take on the intergalactic villains, you split up, are ambushed, meet back up and then realize the other car was defeated and replaced by alien spies, battle the other car, battle the Big Bug, defeat the Big Bug via the infamous "red button," receive your final grade, and depart. It's a mouthful, I know, and out of context it seems a little ridiculous - but on the ride it makes perfect sense due to Zed's well-scripted and communicated dialogue.
The ride is seriously fun!
I mean, c'mon, you're shooting alien bad guys while careening around chaotic streets and spinning incessantly... who couldn't have fun in such a scenario? MIB wisely mixes mild thrills in the spinning with the grand showmanship of the main sets. And it's damn fun to lose yourself in the world shooting the snarling creatures.
Repeatability.
It goes without saying that MIB is repeatable, as it is indeed an interactive shooting ride. MIB has a surprising amount of strategic depth, with much debate over which seat and track gives you the best chance at maxing out, what targets to aim at & when, and the unpredictability of the competition between the two tracks. Not to mention the multiple endings, which leads me to...
Amazing endings.
While Star Tours now has entire randomized ride experiences, MIB was among the first to dabble in alternative ride experiences - in this case, different endings based on your performance. Beating the other team and average player score alter the three segments of the ending, the second (the audio-animatronics scenes) being the most significant. It's incredibly rewarding to play a good round and receive "Galaxy Defender" with the "Suit" ending.
Transition back to the park...
This is a facet of attraction design that many rides ignore. Mission: Space places you in Mars and then dumps you out into Future World without any real transition. A big offender at Universal is Mummy, which abruptly throws you from Egyptian tomb to soundstage at the ride's climax. ET has you travel to the Green Planet, and yet somehow round a corner and magically reappear in the initial forest. MIB transitions you back to the park by (following the Big Bug) returning you to MIB HQ, where, after receiving your final grade, you are "zapped" and your memory "erased" like in the movies - you are then promptly dumped into the hilariously ironic conclusion of the Universe and You exhibit, which proudly contradicts everything you've just seen. Your experience at the World Fair attraction concluded, you exit back into the World Expo proper, but on your way out you see a wink to your intergalactic adventure - the alien secretary silhouette. Brilliant, clever storytelling.
Men in Black is a ride that tells a competent story from start to finish that places riders at the center of the action. Its vision appears to be fully realized and well-executed, and its an experience populated with impressive sets and varied audio-animatronics. The depth of the ride is surprising and enjoyable, leading to intense re-rides and fierce & fun competition. While Spider-Man is an amazing attraction as its name would imply, it has a few subtle flaws (namely its exposed soundstage building and chaotic plot) that put it just a hair below MIB in overall execution.
So there you have it. My arguments as to why Men in Black is technically the best attraction at Universal Orlando.
Let the debate begin!
